January 6, 2018 |
Elliot Wolf |
Brad Pitt probably solved celebrity men’s problems long before being accused of sexual harassment had become a Hollywood thing. Instead of attempting to sleep with other stars, shoot lower and land amongst the working class pedestrians. Brad became the Casanova of the coffee shop introducing himself as William, lover of lattes and consensual intercourse. I’m more than sure when everyone from Angelina Jolie to Gwyneth Paltrow have gotten a taste of the goop swapping bodily fluids with the best of the best gets boring. Commoners are Pitt’s new fetish.
Angelina looks amazing but her need to always adopt every slightly used stray child on vacation inspired Pitt to look for love from an average woman. Still coffee shops are pretty terrible places to pick up women. Those establishments are magnets for college women who truly believe buying coffee brewed with fair-trade beans can save an underprivileged child in Peru from poverty and starvation. Dodging one bullet to die by another. Hopefully Brad comes to his senses and understands that hooking up with hot women with loads of money is the hell he’ll have to live with while on this Earth.