It seems like exactly a year, a couple months, and a few days since Kim Kardashian was robbed in Paris. Not only was it a massive and monumental moment in none of our lives, it also left her totes changed… like.. for seriously. All it took was a near-death experience to make her realize the triviality of material possessions. And since then, we’ve truly seen a transformation.
Because it happened so long ago and people packaged and re-gifted what little shits they had left to give over the holiday break, Kim is back to remind everyone that it happened. Feel sorrier for herrr!
Despite having armed guards on the property 24/7, Celebuzz! reports that Kim and Kanye’s massive new mansion has a strict “NO JEWELRY ALLOWED” policy. You hear that, all you thieves who pay attention to Celebuzz!? There’s nothing there, OKAY! Just a bunch of other extremely expensive stuff to steal… like art, a closet full of purses worth more than an upper west side brownstone or, ya know, their children…
Stealing from the Kardashian-West mansion would take the kind of professional orchestration possessed by only Debbie Ocean herself. In fact, this is probably just a long-con, subversive marketing set up for the sequel Ocean’s 9 movie where they bring back the little Asian contortionist and knock over Kanye’s house. (If anyone from Warner Brothers is reading this, I’ll gladly accept payment for that idea in Chili’s or TGI Friday’s gift cards.)